HMSM Life Insurance!

So I've decided to branch out into life insurance! For a simple payment of 1000 Rupees, I will put your soul into a mask at the moment of your death, then sell it to some fool who, upon wearing it, will be painfully transformed into you. You'll then be immortal since your a soul in a piece of wood, unless your Captain Falcon. I don't know if he can even die, but he gets the service for free if so, and the mask would be made from pure awesome.

Warning: When you die, if you haven't payed, I will do this to you anyway, only you will be like the masks Link used, where the wearer controls the powers. You will get the good service if you pay, though. I may kill some of you who sign up just so I can sell the masks sooner. also, when you're in the masks while not being worn or the non-control masks, it's like a living hell. I will kill your family afterwards, except Captain Falcon's. I will also loot your residence(s) for everything you own, except Captain Falcon's. You can't cancel the plan. Dr. Mario is satan. ENJOY!

I can't read the small text with my pointy eyeballs.

But I'll take this policy!

Sorry creepy mask guy, but I'm an angel. Life insurance isn't really needed!!1

Oh, that's okay. You'll be killed anyway, kukukuhehehe... And thanks for singing up, Dedede! These thousand rupees will not go to waste! I hope you enjoy being alive forever.

Wait...

What happends if someone wears my mask and Kirby eats them?

Well I guess your power and the wearer's powers would be combined, like in Kirby 64. But if Kirby doesn't work that way anymore...

But I've dealt with apocalypses before, 'saul good.

Then I guess you hate my efforts to keep people alive with my medication then. :/ Ah, screw it, sign me up.

Why should I trust you mr. Salesman? Ugh.

You should trust me because otherwise you'll die and go to hell for all that killing. Also because immortality gives you more chances to bang Samus.

More of a chance to bang Samus huh... I'm in.

Sweet. I'm now 3000 rupees richer! Anyone else want to join on this wonderful deal?

I keep hurting myself. I think I need this.

WOOT!

WARIO SEES YOUR PLANS, WARIO KNOWS WHAT YOU HAVE PLANNED. WARIO STAY AWAY FROM CREEPY MASK MAN. FAR FAR AWAY. *Quickly shuffle runs out.*

Wario wrote:WARIO SEES YOUR PLANS, WARIO KNOWS WHAT YOU HAVE PLANNED. WARIO STAY AWAY FROM CREEPY MASK MAN. FAR FAR AWAY. *Quickly shuffle runs out.*

:(